It all starts with Daniel, Hailie and I living at my mother in law, Terri's house. With a heart of gold, she let us stay there... and stay there... and stay there...
As amazing as she is, living in just one bedroom and a walk in closet in your mother in law's house isn't really the best for any marriage. I remember asking myself "WHAT AM I DOING? What am I doing to get my own place? I say I want it, but am I really taking any steps to get there?"
When Hailie was 12 weeks old, I had gone back briefly, to my minimum wage job at Home Depot. I lasted maybe 2 weeks back there. With the promise of a promotion, co-workers I loved and a couple "Associate Of The Month"s under my belt, I left. With no regrets.
I had always felt this, but never fully realized just how strongly I felt it, that being fully present throughout my kid's lives was non-negotiable for me. Some moms have to leave their kids for a typical 9-5'er. Some mom's have it in them that they WANT to. To those mom's, hats off to ya. I don't know how you do it. Everyone is different, and has different wants, desires and dreams built into them for a reason. For me, it is more than just a desire to be at home with my babies. It is like an ingrained instinctual truth. I know it is what I am supposed to do like I know that I need to breathe air. I have said before that I would rather live under a bridge in a cardboard box with my babies by my side than have to drop them off at daycare for someone else to raise for the better part of every day. That being said, living where we live, most people can't survive on one income. So, in order to move and get our own place, I needed to work. What could I do? What job was out there that I could earn income and still have Hailie with me? And what one was out there that I also possessed the skills required to do it?
AHHHHH... Childcare. I could be a nanny! I applied to dozens, even hundreds of nanny jobs on care.com before I even landed an interview. I started out watching a little boy named Grayson and his 6 month old brother Colton. That job lasted 4 months. Just before the 4th of July in 2014, They told me they would be giving my job to their niece who needed to earn money for college. I realized I had been stupid with my money the last 4 months. Just buying treats and makeup and building up my wardrobe. Stupid. I had nothing saved. And now was without a job. Daniel worked at a gym (Planet Fitness) full time at that time. Which was great, but not enough for us to move out on.
Back to applying to nanny jobs for me. It took 3 more months of applying nearly every day. Looking back, I "failed" to land a job so many times. For months! But I didn't stop. I knew what I wanted and I didn't stop. Every time someone said no, it didn't stop me. Finally, I landed my job watching Jack and Grant. They are twins, and I have experience with twins, seeing as my mom has 2 sets. Their mom was almost begging for me to take the job, and so I did! On August 24th 2014 (The day after I ran the Santa Rosa Marathon!) I started watching them. That was when the real money started coming in. We had a good, solid income now. It took me about 6 months to realize that, though. My marriage was at an all time lowest of lows. Maybe someday I'll go into detail about that, but its not for this post. And I'd have to get permission from my wonderful husband of course. ;)
Well, February 2015 came and so did our tax return. We used that money and took a leap of faith. We started applying for apartments. We landed one right away and at the end of February, we finally had our own place. We used to talk about how great it would be... that we would walk around and just touch the walls... stand in the middle of our living room and think "Wow... this is our's... our very own place." We spent many a night staying up whispering in bed about all the things we could do once we had our own place. Finally, we had done it. My Dad, sister and brother in law and my mother in law all helped us get everything over to our new one bedroom apartment in Rohnert Park. 5 minutes from my work watching Jack and Grant, and literally a block away from Planet Fitness where Daniel worked. After everyone had left, we said goodbye and I turned around to see Daniel standing in our living room. Both of our faces were flushed with excitement and from working hard and fast to get everything unloaded before rain hit. He pulled me to him and picked me up and spun me around in our new living room. Boxes stacked to the ceiling, everything a mess, he held me close and kissed me so hard. We finally did it. After just talking about it for 3 years, we had finally done it.
That started a new chapter of our marriage and life together. A couple weeks after that, I had applied to a few more nanny jobs, because I only worked 3 days a week, and while we were able to make ends meet, some more income would be nice. And since I had the time, why not? Well the perfect job showed up. Thursdays and Fridays, I started watching two little girls. One was just a little older than Hailie, the other a little younger. It was perfect! We spent our days doing crafts, walking to and playing at the park by their house, playing outside or inside, with toys, etc. etc. etc.!
June of 2015 a big change happened. Daniel got a job at Costco! It paid MUCH better and was more fast paced and challenged him more. Just what he needed and wanted! It was perfect.
December of 2015 I found out I was pregnant! We definitely knew we were ready for another little blessing. By that July of 2016 I decided I needed to leave my second nanny job. I felt that I would no longer be able to fulfill all my responsibilities there, once I had a newborn to care for as well. So sadly, I left that job.
Of course losing that income hurt us. Then we bought 2 new cars. (I absolutely needed a van because watching the boys required driving them to school. So If I had 2 of my own and 2 kids to drive, my old Ford Explorer just did not have enough seat belts.)
We spiraled deep down into debt. We were already in some but all of that got us into some deep water.
Meanwhile, a dream I have had on a shelf would come back to me every now and then...
Land. I want land. No matter how much time passes, it always comes back. Visions of holding baby chicks with my little ones, teaching them how to care for animals, how to ride horses, how to care for a garden... They always return. Having enough land for my boys to run wild. dirty bare feet, scraped knees, clothes torn while playing to their heart's content climbing trees and everything else that little boys can think of has always been in my heart. That is the dream. I want land. With a huge garden. And all the farm animals I can think of. With a pond and a dock and a little boat we can go fish in. And a rope swing to jump off of into the water. I want pastures. I want woods. And I want it to all be organic and sustainably managed. I want a huge collection of heirloom seeds that I grow and save year after year. I want to learn to hunt. I want to feed my family from our land with as little need of outside sources as possible.
As a teenager, I filled my shelf with books on animal husbandry, farm and land management and dog and horse training books. I took nutrition, Ag Econ and dance classes at the JC... not knowing what I wanted to do. I majored in Veterinary Technology and took biology and Veterinary Medical Terminology. I never graduated because I got pregnant with Hailie, but I retained the knowledge gleaned. That dream is still there and it comes out every now and then.
But there I was... Pregnant and literally on my knees praying to God above, that we could somehow make the rent. Somehow every month, we did. The bank would be overdrafted multiple times, but we always managed somehow to pay everything. I tried being a transcriber for a couple months. Thanks to my Mom, I'm a pretty darn good speller and I can type extremely fast. I passed the tests and quickly got on with a couple companies. But the ones that paid well didn't have enough hours. And the ones with many hours well... well they DIDN'T pay well. It wasn't working out.
I had our wonderful son Danny on August 25th, 2016. That was on a Thursday. The following Monday, I was back to work. I couldn't afford to miss a single day. And besides, the boys are fairly easy to watch. They are 7 years old. All I have to do is go over at 4:30am (That's the hardest part) And then a few hours later, get them up and ready for school. Something many many new moms do, everyday with a newborn.
Money was impossibly tight. We were in the hole by over $1000 every month. One Saturday I hit my knees praying again. "God PLEASE... I AM WILLING TO DO THE WORK... whatever it takes to get out of this mess!!! Give me the work, please! Some kind of job! I don't know what it would look like but I know if you provide it, it will be perfect! SEE me Lord! See my heart, I am willing to work!!"
I was at one of the lowest points in my life, financially. But a thousand thanks to my sister Julia reassuring me that God can do anything, and that he WILL provide... Encouraging me to lean on Him and ask. And thanks to my mother, who had us memorize scriptures many years ago, that I used to think I wouldn't need. (Now I wish I knew more!) Flashes of these scriptures kept coming to me. Whether from someone's bumper sticker, my own memory, or a word from a sermon in church, I mustered up my faith and prayed hard. I remembered Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," Declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." And I remembered Matthew 6:16: "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" "Ask and you shall receive" "Knock and He will answer"
That Sunday in church, I tithed the last $30 we had in the bank that week. I prayed hard that day. Asking for a way to make more money and still be with my babies. Then my dreams came flooding back to me... I told God all of them. "God, YOU gave me all these dreams that I keep in my heart. Forgotten for years, they keep coming back. They are still there. I am willing to do whatever work it takes to get me there Lord, and I am asking for your help! Help me work for it!" I also asked for divine, supernatural favor to be put on my husband Daniel's shoulders from the management at Costco. And that maybe a promotion could somehow, some way come.
The VERY next day, My sister Bella tagged me in a post on facebook from Crossing The Jordan. It was a job offer and to apply, email Fallon. I did immediately. A few days Later, I met with her and Christen and started my new job. I now do online data entry, working from home, uploading clothes and shoes to Crossing The Jordan's online store!! It was slow at first, just a few hundered a month. But has quickly grown to where Daniel and I combined are now making more than enough to meet all of our needs and get out of debt forever!!!!!!
I also got on with a credit counseling and consolidation company. Basically, they freeze all your accounts and work with your creditors to get your interest reduced to less than 10% (Or even 0% in some cases!) The accounts will automatically re-open when we pay off all our debt.
Also that same week, whispers of a possible Supervisor opening in Daniel's department came. They still haven't come to fruition, as this is all still very new information, but it is all still a very real possibility. And every time I pray for that again, more positive news comes our way.
God absolutely answered our prayers. Every time I tithe, something positive happens that week. I asked, and God answered. There was no way I would have thought of something so perfect.
God will bless you. He is real. I am writing this because HE deserves the glory. It has been on my heart to write all of this out and I am finally taking the time to do it.
Someday, when you all see us move to our land, know that GOD is the one who made it possible. To him, all the glory. Know that God did it.
Even on our worst days, when it had been a month since we were able to grocery shop, we still had food on the table, someway, somehow. Even if it was cornbread and one piece of chicken each. God has always provided for us. And he always will. We have kept the roof over our head.
A couple weeks ago I tithed again. The day prior, I was praying in the van on the way to a visit to my mom's house with Hailie. We were praying for our dream. Nothing can stand in God's way. Debt is not a problem for God. Money is not a problem for God. To quote a good friend, Jean Marie Jobs: "If money is your problem, you don't have a problem."
So that week after tithing again, and praying, I filed our taxes and was ASTONISHED to see that our tax return will be more than TWICE as much as it was last year. Suddenly God sends another blessing on top of all the other blessings. In the name of Jesus I say "Debt, get out of the way!"
All of this started with my writing on Facebook to share this story about Crossing The Jordan:
Thrift store is hand up, not hand out (Make sure you click and read that story!)
God is using them in more ways than they know, and my life is a perfect example of that!! I am so proud and beyond blessed to be working for such a great company!!!
I know this was a long blog but thank you for reading it all!!! Have a great day =)
