What Its Really Like

I feel strange in this new body sometimes. I think I'm so unfamiliar with it. It is ever changing and deflating. Its hard sometimes (I know right... poor me... haha).

I feel the opposite of what it seems I should be feeling! I have these moments and days where I am proud and confident, but then other days where I'm kinda self conscious about how I look. I guess so much focusing on my body, trying to make it better, makes me notice everything I don't like and the imperfections.
There was a reason I was fat. There were bad habits and no doubt some psychological reasons behind it all that I need to think about, pray about and figure out.
I think now that the weight is coming off I feel vulnerable. I'm not hidden under a nice layer of fat.
I've said it before but it bears repeating that weight loss is almost all mental. The physical part is easy. Its the mental part you gotta work on. All your troubles and reasons aren't going to go away as the pounds melt. They'll be uncovered, more likely.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm just like "Daaaaayum!" And other times I see my stomach sticking out still. Having stretch marks doesn't help. And my hips still seem too wide. I know I'm still a work in progress... its a comforting thought. But there will always be room for improvement and I need to start to love myself more so I can enjoy the new me! I just look in the mirror sometimes and my mind is used to seeing and criticizing the old me. The new skinnier me is, well... new. I'm not used to it yet. So I guess you could say its almost like I'm having a mild identity crisis haha.

Ok, now for weigh-in results! Last week I was 142.8 pounds... today I am 140.6! 2.2 pounds lost!! Once again, I am completely shocked.

I don't know how I'm losing so fast all of the sudden! Maybe lifting weights really is making a huge difference? I knew it would help, just didn't know it could be THIS MUCH! I have lost a total of 32 pounds now. My BMI today is 24.9... I am now officially not considered overweight! (By 0.1 points lol). Just by the skin of my teeth isn't good enough though, that's why 135 is my goal. I will undoubtedly be in the 130's by next week. I can wait to see those numbers on the scale!

Picture proof of today (not that you don't believe me... and I know, I need to fix my toenails haha. Kinda ratchet.)

Oh yes, measurements have to be done!

Start arm (11/1): 12"   Last week's arm: 11.5"      Today: 11"

Start waist: 31"           Last week's waist: 30.5"     Today: 30"

Start hips: 37.5"          Last week's hips: 36.5"      Today: 36"

Start thighs: 23"          Last week's thighs: 22.5"    Today: 22.5"

Start calves: 15"         Last week's calves: 14.5"   Today: 14"

So I lost inches everywhere but my thighs! (which is totally fine with me. I like my legs lately)

Something cool I noticed: This past week Hailie was playing in the closet and kept wanting to open and close her sock drawer (as most any 1-yr-old would!) But she wasn't so good at the opening part. Meanwhile across the bedroom, I was rubbing my husband Daniel's back while he watched Dirty Jobs on Netflix. Hailie kept calling me to open the drawer every minute or so, and without even realizing it, I kept getting up, running to help her, then running back to Daniel. This went on for several minutes. Then I noticed: it wasn't hard for me to get up! I was just doing it! Over and over without any trouble at all! It wasn't a pain in the butt!

I have a lot more energy now. That same night, I spent a good half hour pushing her around in her beloved Costco grocery box and making driving and crashing noises to make her laugh. And playing ball with her. And then making and cleaning up dinner, picking up all Hailie's messes... it is really cool! I feel almost like I did when I was 10 years old giving horsy rides to little brothers. It doesn't take the wind out of me to get down on the floor and play with my baby and THAT is priceless!

I have had a lot of people ask me what I'm doing and how I'm losing all this weight. I've talked about it in past blogs but not everyone has read them all so I'll try to explain it again in a nutshell:
Basically eating clean (well... most of the time!), keeping a food journal (Myfitnesspal app makes this a breeze!), counting all calories, running and finally, lifting weights.

I took a nutrition class at the jc 2 years ago and I have read several books on the subject so I had some knowledge already. The way the human body works is something I've always been interested in, and I have found it very easy to retain the information I learn. Nevertheless, the days leading up to the start of my weight loss journey, I literally Googled things like "how to lose weight." You can learn most of what you need to know by doing that. Google your resting metabolic rate. Multiply it by 1.4, if you are somewhat active. Then cut 500 calories from that number per day through diet and/or exercise and you should lose roughly a pound per week. Cut more, lose more. Most medical professionals agree that you shouldn't try to lose more than 2 lbs per week. More than that may be unhealthy unless you are in the class II level of obesity. It really is that simple though. Figure out your numbers, stick to it, adjust according to weekly results if needed and it will work. There's no magic pill. No special workout. I don't eat "low fat" stuff. I'm not on a "low carb" plan. I eat healthy, balanced meals, in proper portions. 

You have to put in the work and effort and time. "Calories in, calories out." As my Nonnie used to say. (My Mom's mom... she knows what she's talking about.)

This is a screenshot of another app I've been using called "Monitor Your Weight"

It is SUPER useful in that it will keep track of all your weigh-ins, and as shown, it will graph it all for you and give you a projected date of goal completion! which, as you can see, I am 2 weeks ahead of schedule! Its predicting that I'll reach goal weight by December 10th!

The green dotted line is your goal. The brown one is how you are doing right now. If it falls below the green line, you are ahead of schedule. If it falls above... you are behind schedule.

This is a screenshot from the same app, but its the "Current Details" tab. Basically like the home page:

I don't follow the "diet" line... I have my own plan. Which by the way, it changed again today. The more weight you lose, the less calories you need... so you need to consume a fewer amount of calories in order to lose weight at the same rate. So MyFitnessPal app is now saying I should consume 1220 a day. :( 

I will probably still eat pretty close to 1300 haha since I have been losing so rapidly at that number.

I'm so glad I started this, when I did. In 4 days, this Tuesday, will be my 100th day into my weightloss journey. 100 days of counting almost every single calorie. Even "cheat" ones. 100 days. I am down over 30 pounds in less than 100 days. Wow. I am soooooo glad that I started when I did. I can't imagine if I HADN'T started! I would feel so devastated if I was still at my starting weight (or heavier!!) today! I didn't wait for "this Monday", "New Year's Day" or "next week" I started in the moment. I couldn't take it anymore. The fat had to stop! No more wishing and longing! I chose to just get up and do it! And I'm so glad that I did, when I did!