Still At It

I haven't written anything in a long time because I have been sucking at fitness. I'm probably like 138 lbs right now. still not overweight, but getting close to that line (for my height) according to BMI charts. Which- I know are not the end-all, be-all with measuring your fitness level but whatever. Its a good general guideline.

I had a crazy busy summer. worked 60+ hours almost every week. not really much time for exercise. I was always tired. any free hour I had, I wanted to spend it with my husband and Hailie. Or, if Daniel was working, I wanted to be over at my parent's casa. I made myself run MAYBE twice a week (and that's a generous average). But my speed and endurance went way down. I gained a good 15 pounds. I always thought that once I had my own place, everything would be easier than ever. In many ways it is... but indulgence is more tempting than ever. I love just hanging out at home, cozy on the couch, watching Netflix, or reading articles on my phone... I love running and fitness still but I guess I still have a lazy gene haha.

Eating right has become a chore for me. I keep feeding myself crappy, processed, unhealthy foods and naturally, of course my nutrient starved brain is like "UH, you need to eat some more food..." and its so tasty and and and... you get it. It gets really annoying to count calories. Or just pay attention to what I've been eating. If I'm at work, I'll eat well while I'm there, because I usually pack healthy meals and snacks. Then I get home and eat 6 slices of pizza. or 5 cups of pasta swimming in cheese and salt and pepper... And some Italian seasoning... with the Parmesan on top... sigh.

I have found myself asking myself several times recently... "How the heck did I do it before??" Well, I know HOW I did it... literally... what it takes... the things you do, ways you have to eat... calories you have to burn, etc., etc., etc... But how did I make myself do that? Everyday... for so long? I said no to the pizza at birthday parties... the cake and ice cream...
I remember telling myself "This isn't the last opportunity I will have to taste (insert delicious food here), and I will feel much better about myself tomorrow if I don't eat that.
Nowadays, I have replaced that thought with "I want to eat this so bad! I'm just going to do it!"
Where did my self control go?

I am under more stress now. Money, of course, is at the top of that list. Making it on our own is rewarding in more ways than I can think of at the moment, but the challenges are hard! I'm really into learning about investing money now and I read all kinds of financial articles almost every day.
But back to my point... the stress... Anyone will tell you that stress contributes to weight gain. I should eat better and exercise more to reduce my stress. I'm just lazy sometimes! (a lot of times...)

One thing that I HAVE found to be almost foolproof to getting back on track is to force yourself to have just one victory. Be in the moment and say "I don't need another serving of (whatever food)." or "I don't need just one taste. I am sticking to eating clean and within calorie goal today". I've noticed that if I have just one victory like that, where I follow through and overcome that challenge, the ball is up and rolling again and it snowballs into weeks of eating well. So I start to lose weight again. But, inevitably, something happens. I eat that pizza... and then THAT snowballs... it only takes once... one choice... a good one, or a bad one, to get that ball rolling in whichever respective direction.

As most of you know, I am a nanny. Mon/Tues/Wed and 1 Sunday every 3 weeks, I watch 2, six year old boys.
In the summer, I was pulling 14 hour days with them. Now that they are back in school, I do have that little break in my day and I have been taking advantage of it, running with my mom. We have gone 2 Tuesday mornings in a row now (since I have had the past 2 weeks off cause my boss is on mandatory leave... long story) at 6:30 AM for hill training in Annadel. And I'll be doing a "fun run" tonight at Heart&Sole Sports with the group there. (I got in to it cause my Mama went a few times and makes friends everywhere she goes and is BFFS with everyone there now hahaha ;) love it!)
So that's good. keeping me running. I did 12 Miles this past Sunday and I am feeling it today!
Thursdays and Fridays are the hardest days to fit fitness in to because those days I have another family I nanny for. Just shy of 10 hour days there. But that's life! Nothing new to most people. I have to put on my big girl pants and make myself workout those days too. And eat right.

Another thought I've been having is that I need to set some new running goals for myself. I don't have any races planned in the future. So I just kind of go out for a run... usually a 10k these days. A random number of times every week, no structure to my runs. I haven't been incorporating any speedwork, or endurance training. I think that has me down. I need new shoes really badly (my current ones are probably coming up on (running friends, close your eyes!) 1000+ miles... So that's uninspiring. I'm waiting until Christmas when I will have some gift cards to spend. Hehe.

Oh! One good thing that has gotten me off the couch several times is that we got a puppy! My family hosted a good friend's pregnant German Shepherd and her eventual litter of puppies at their home. It was an accidental breeding. The dad was a Black Lab, so the pups are German Shepradors hahaha (no really, that's a real thing).
Of course we fell in love with the puppies and at 8 weeks, went and bought one :D her name is Katara.
I know... I know... We live in a 1 bedroom apartment with a 20'X12' little yard. And I already have a 12 year old Black Lab, Chloe. "But I'm a competitive runner!" I said. "I'm a high energy person who leads an active lifestyle who would love a dog as a running buddy!" (Chloe is way too old). Now I have to follow through and stick to that commitment. She is still a puppy (17 weeks now) and I have been doing little runs with her since we got her. started out at just a 1 mile jog. slowly progressing to where she can run a 10K now. And I always watch her on a run, making sure she isn't getting tired. And we don't go very fast. I usually let her pace us, and then back off that pace a little. Because (supposedly) too much high impact exercise for a puppy can throw off their growth plates. (idk how much of a problem that really is... I mean if you let a puppy her age play on its own, it is all sprinting, stopping, sprinting again, jumping, tearing through the yard, chasing and play fighting with other dogs etc etc but whatever, better safe than sorry!) She is the best doggie ever! (Stop me if I'm being one of those annoying dog owners who thinks everyone in the world wants to hear all about their dog...)
There are mornings when I really DON'T want to get up at 5:30 to take her out on a bike ride in the dark, before work. But I do it anyways.
She's really fun to take off leash. I know, its against the law most everywhere around here. I guess I'm a rebel. She does amazing off leash, just trotting by my side. or on a trail she will sprint up ahead a little ways, sniff around a little while she waits for me, then start running again when I catch up. She's my real life Lassie.

We found a cool trail along a creek in Rohnert Park, off of Snyder and we went out about 2 miles before we suddenly came up out of the woodsy creek path to a Golf Course. Without a word, we both stopped. Looked at each other. Looked back at the Golf Course. There were people out there golfing and walking and doing other golfy things. I've had other dogs that would have bolted out onto the glorious open grassy fields. (She was off-leash still). She looked back at me and I just said "Well, let's just go back home." And we both simultaneously turned around and started our run back. She moves with me like music. And even if its a first time on a new route, she is better at remembering the way back than I am. She remembered the little hidden turnout path we took to go down by the creek when I wasn't sure. Obviously she possesses some noble wolf-like traits. (I kid). She started up it and looked back at me while I hesitated, looking around making sure it was the right way. She looked like "Well? Come on, its this way!" I could run on a new trail with her in the dark and trust her to lead us back exactly as we came.
Ok, sorry, I truly have become one of those obnoxious people who are obsessed with their dog. And this blog is supposed to be about fitness! So back to that stuff...

I am constantly "trying" (ahhh... there's the problem!) to "get back on track" with everything. I'm tired of it. I know the best way to solve that is to STOP GIVING UP and GIVING IN. I'm usually about a 9:30min/mile lately for my 10k.
Going from an 8:07 Half Marathon (with an injury!) to not being able to get under a 9 for just a 10k leaves me feeling deflated and disappointed. It just goes to show you how much proper nutrition and rest, play into athletic performance. I used to train 3 or 4 days a week. for the past month or so, I've been doing that, but not seeing any improvements. I am undoing all my training by eating too much and eating crap. My same old habits. I'm still me. I still have to battle my gluttonous temptations.

So. Idk. Just feel encouraged that the struggle is real. If you are still out there struggling to achieve your fitness goals, you're not alone. I'm not perfect. I keep on just... not doing what I should be. I'm in a rut. Its hard. I'd love to drop down to 115 lbs of pure muscle, shatter all my race records, sweep every race this next year with 1st places in my division and have another baby. But... I can't always have my cake and eat it too. No pun intended. Does that count as a pun?

Its a beautiful day, I have it off and I am going to enjoy it!

A week and a half in

Well as of last weekend I was 135.6! And this morning I took a sneak peek at the scale and I was down to 133.6, so that freakin rocks! 13.6 pounds until goal! Which means I only need to lose 1.43 pounds per week now. Awesome news!

I forgot to take my tape-measure measurements. Gotta do that soon. Cause I can see improvements in my thighs and hips.
I know a big reason I dropped weight, even with a hectic weekend where I ate a little too much, is that I did alot of lifting on Saturday. I did a ton of ab work, did my pushup sets, did arms, shoulders and legs. Normally I wouldn't train that many body parts in one workout, but it was my only day that week that I could workout. So I had to kill it!

Monday morning I had the stomach flu. Normally I'd attribute some weight loss to that, but I made sure and ate about 1000 really healthy extra calories that day. By Tuesday morning, I knocked out a 4 mile run with Hailie in the stroller, between work shifts. My quads burned so so bad. My hamstrings and glutes were still really sore from Saturday's squats and deadlifts. So it was a kinda crappy run, speed-wise. Today I did 7.5 miles at a 9:47 min/mile pace with the stroller, which is really good for stroller pace! Its usually just a goal of mine to be under 10 minutes per mile haha. Some of my splits were under 8:30 min/miles! So that was inspiring! I felt great today. Alot of energy. This was my pre-run breakfast smoothie (about 350 calories):

8oz organic coconut water (normally I like to use Almond Milk - original unsweetened, but I opted for the potassium-rich coconut water. That, and it has been in the fridge for awhile and I wanted it gone haha) to that, I added:

1 banana

4 strawberries

8 blackberries

4 ice cubes

1 scoop MP Combat Cookies 'n Cream protein powder
And about 1.5 cups of organic baby spinach

Blended that up real goooood and it served me well on my run! Perfect fuel for a run.

So there we go, that's my weekly update! Good progress, good results, feeling great! Its like I almost forgot how easy it honestly is to lose weight. Eat really healthy foods (doesn't cost an arm and a leg... honestly), watch your portions, and workout like crazy! I even did an in-home workout last week because it was raining and I couldn't run or go to the gym. It isn't brain surgery. Its all totally do-able. Good stuff!

Just An Update

I haven't written in a super long time, so I thought I would. Its good for me to write.

Okay so... since I last wrote, I have moved (just to Rohnert Park, only 10 mins or so from previous residence), I did "The Master Cleanse" (ugh), aaaand I have gained 20 pounds from my all time lowest weight, which was 121 exactly on the last day of the cleanse on February 10th. Granted, my new heavy weigh-in was after dinner in the evening (which is the worst TOD to weigh oneself, in my oppinion) but 140.6 was the number on the scale.
Some of my clothes are too small. I don't have as much energy. I just don't feel as good or as happy with how I look. So I have to stop kidding myself and get back to it. I will always have my old habits. It requires a daily commitment to prevent overeating, sticking to my planned meals and making healthy choices in order to hit goals and maintain my weight and health. Moving was hard... I honestly lost count of how many doughnuts I ate that day. (It was over 10 though... ssshhh...)
And then, once we settled in, I HAVE MY OWN FREAKING KITCHEN OMG!! Pink Cinnamon Rolls, a Double Chocolate Cake, Garlic Rosemary Bread, grilled chicken thighs with Raspberry Chipotle Sauce, White Rice etc etc are some of the things to come out of said kitchen, so far. And moving out, OF COURSE we had to celebrate! A few bottles of wine and a few packs of beers have been consumed in the (just over a) month that we've been there. (Not just by me, but even when you share, this lifestyle is fattening)

Well I ain't ever going back to where I used to be. 140 pounds isn't bad, still considered a "normal" weight for a chica my hight, but I don't feel happy, free or healthy at this weight. I estimate it should take about 12 weeks to get down to goal, when done healthily (2lbs per week average) so I'm making my Husband Daniel's birthday (June 21st) my goal day. Its almost 13 weeks away, but a great day to pick. I started yesterday. Goal weight: 120lbs. I know how my body looks at that weight, and I think if I put on enough muscle, I could have a 6-pack around that number. Granted, it IS NOT all about a number on the scale... but since I have been so involved with all of this for almost 2 years now, I know my body really well, and know what numbers correspond to what I see in the mirror.

Speaking of the whole "number on the scale doesn't matter" I'm taking a break from doing dietbets for a while. I got too obsessed. I'm in 3 6-month games I have to finish (they end in June) but after that, I need to stop. Dietbet is a great weight loss tool, but *for me* it got to be too much.

Now about that Master Cleanse... I lost 14 pounds in 10 days. (Not healthy unless you are class 2 obese). I think it is a good jumpstart weightloss program and it works wonders for almost everyone who completes it, but I think for me, it just isn't the best. Yes I lost weight. But I was so weak for weeks after. It was a HUGE setback in my fitness, ultimately. I couldn't run. I could hardly bend down and pick something up without feeling like I was going to pass out (yes I should have drank more of the "lemonade" the day before, but that is easier said than done!!) If you don't know what I'm talking about, google it. Basically, for 10 days you drink 10-18 cups of this lemonade you make with 1 oz of fresh squeezed lemon juice, 2 tbsp grade B or C organic maple syrup and about 1/10th of a tsp of cayenne pepper (or as much as you can stand). You add all that to 8oz pure water and there's one drink. 10 days. Of that. You also have to do some "fun" salt water flush thingies and/or take a laxative. Because as you can imagine... not eating any solid food would cause things to um... "slow down" a bit, and you can get very ill from toxins building up in your body. Anywhooooo... my personal theory is that since I was already pretty small, and my body had kinda been in "weight loss" mode for so long, I didn't bounce back well. I felt ravenous for week. That fabled "starvation mode"... it does exist. Let me tell you... man. The good: skin was clearer. Oh and now, I can't eat too much junk food without feeling very sick to my stomach. But all in all... I don't think I'll ever do it again ahahahahaha.

Running has slowed down. I want to do the same 10k's and half marathons as last year. But I don't have as much time to train. The past 2 weeks now I've worked over 50 hrs each. Try and balance moving, toddler, needing of sleep and wanting to hangout with your hubby and you don't run that much haaaa. But I'm not stopping. Just might not bring home any 1st, 2nd or 3rd places this year haha. That's ok though. I just like running, and races are a blasty blast.

Weigh-ins will be done Saturday mornings. I'm considering writing weekly and posting results. I want to track my measurements again too. I'll take 'em soon. So there we go. I'm back in the game. Not really "the fat girl working out" again but I don't feel like the Tigress Athlete I had going for awhile there. Suuuucks. Ugh. Gotta get up, dust myself off and try again
Its only 12 weeks! First day of summer, hubbie's birthday, its gonna be awesome!