I had a crazy busy summer. worked 60+ hours almost every week. not really much time for exercise. I was always tired. any free hour I had, I wanted to spend it with my husband and Hailie. Or, if Daniel was working, I wanted to be over at my parent's casa. I made myself run MAYBE twice a week (and that's a generous average). But my speed and endurance went way down. I gained a good 15 pounds. I always thought that once I had my own place, everything would be easier than ever. In many ways it is... but indulgence is more tempting than ever. I love just hanging out at home, cozy on the couch, watching Netflix, or reading articles on my phone... I love running and fitness still but I guess I still have a lazy gene haha.
Eating right has become a chore for me. I keep feeding myself crappy, processed, unhealthy foods and naturally, of course my nutrient starved brain is like "UH, you need to eat some more food..." and its so tasty and and and... you get it. It gets really annoying to count calories. Or just pay attention to what I've been eating. If I'm at work, I'll eat well while I'm there, because I usually pack healthy meals and snacks. Then I get home and eat 6 slices of pizza. or 5 cups of pasta swimming in cheese and salt and pepper... And some Italian seasoning... with the Parmesan on top... sigh.
I have found myself asking myself several times recently... "How the heck did I do it before??" Well, I know HOW I did it... literally... what it takes... the things you do, ways you have to eat... calories you have to burn, etc., etc., etc... But how did I make myself do that? Everyday... for so long? I said no to the pizza at birthday parties... the cake and ice cream...
I remember telling myself "This isn't the last opportunity I will have to taste (insert delicious food here), and I will feel much better about myself tomorrow if I don't eat that.
Nowadays, I have replaced that thought with "I want to eat this so bad! I'm just going to do it!"
Where did my self control go?
I am under more stress now. Money, of course, is at the top of that list. Making it on our own is rewarding in more ways than I can think of at the moment, but the challenges are hard! I'm really into learning about investing money now and I read all kinds of financial articles almost every day.
But back to my point... the stress... Anyone will tell you that stress contributes to weight gain. I should eat better and exercise more to reduce my stress. I'm just lazy sometimes! (a lot of times...)
One thing that I HAVE found to be almost foolproof to getting back on track is to force yourself to have just one victory. Be in the moment and say "I don't need another serving of (whatever food)." or "I don't need just one taste. I am sticking to eating clean and within calorie goal today". I've noticed that if I have just one victory like that, where I follow through and overcome that challenge, the ball is up and rolling again and it snowballs into weeks of eating well. So I start to lose weight again. But, inevitably, something happens. I eat that pizza... and then THAT snowballs... it only takes once... one choice... a good one, or a bad one, to get that ball rolling in whichever respective direction.
As most of you know, I am a nanny. Mon/Tues/Wed and 1 Sunday every 3 weeks, I watch 2, six year old boys.
In the summer, I was pulling 14 hour days with them. Now that they are back in school, I do have that little break in my day and I have been taking advantage of it, running with my mom. We have gone 2 Tuesday mornings in a row now (since I have had the past 2 weeks off cause my boss is on mandatory leave... long story) at 6:30 AM for hill training in Annadel. And I'll be doing a "fun run" tonight at Heart&Sole Sports with the group there. (I got in to it cause my Mama went a few times and makes friends everywhere she goes and is BFFS with everyone there now hahaha ;) love it!)
So that's good. keeping me running. I did 12 Miles this past Sunday and I am feeling it today!
Thursdays and Fridays are the hardest days to fit fitness in to because those days I have another family I nanny for. Just shy of 10 hour days there. But that's life! Nothing new to most people. I have to put on my big girl pants and make myself workout those days too. And eat right.
Another thought I've been having is that I need to set some new running goals for myself. I don't have any races planned in the future. So I just kind of go out for a run... usually a 10k these days. A random number of times every week, no structure to my runs. I haven't been incorporating any speedwork, or endurance training. I think that has me down. I need new shoes really badly (my current ones are probably coming up on (running friends, close your eyes!) 1000+ miles... So that's uninspiring. I'm waiting until Christmas when I will have some gift cards to spend. Hehe.
Oh! One good thing that has gotten me off the couch several times is that we got a puppy! My family hosted a good friend's pregnant German Shepherd and her eventual litter of puppies at their home. It was an accidental breeding. The dad was a Black Lab, so the pups are German Shepradors hahaha (no really, that's a real thing).
Of course we fell in love with the puppies and at 8 weeks, went and bought one :D her name is Katara.
I know... I know... We live in a 1 bedroom apartment with a 20'X12' little yard. And I already have a 12 year old Black Lab, Chloe. "But I'm a competitive runner!" I said. "I'm a high energy person who leads an active lifestyle who would love a dog as a running buddy!" (Chloe is way too old). Now I have to follow through and stick to that commitment. She is still a puppy (17 weeks now) and I have been doing little runs with her since we got her. started out at just a 1 mile jog. slowly progressing to where she can run a 10K now. And I always watch her on a run, making sure she isn't getting tired. And we don't go very fast. I usually let her pace us, and then back off that pace a little. Because (supposedly) too much high impact exercise for a puppy can throw off their growth plates. (idk how much of a problem that really is... I mean if you let a puppy her age play on its own, it is all sprinting, stopping, sprinting again, jumping, tearing through the yard, chasing and play fighting with other dogs etc etc but whatever, better safe than sorry!) She is the best doggie ever! (Stop me if I'm being one of those annoying dog owners who thinks everyone in the world wants to hear all about their dog...)
There are mornings when I really DON'T want to get up at 5:30 to take her out on a bike ride in the dark, before work. But I do it anyways.
She's really fun to take off leash. I know, its against the law most everywhere around here. I guess I'm a rebel. She does amazing off leash, just trotting by my side. or on a trail she will sprint up ahead a little ways, sniff around a little while she waits for me, then start running again when I catch up. She's my real life Lassie.
We found a cool trail along a creek in Rohnert Park, off of Snyder and we went out about 2 miles before we suddenly came up out of the woodsy creek path to a Golf Course. Without a word, we both stopped. Looked at each other. Looked back at the Golf Course. There were people out there golfing and walking and doing other golfy things. I've had other dogs that would have bolted out onto the glorious open grassy fields. (She was off-leash still). She looked back at me and I just said "Well, let's just go back home." And we both simultaneously turned around and started our run back. She moves with me like music. And even if its a first time on a new route, she is better at remembering the way back than I am. She remembered the little hidden turnout path we took to go down by the creek when I wasn't sure. Obviously she possesses some noble wolf-like traits. (I kid). She started up it and looked back at me while I hesitated, looking around making sure it was the right way. She looked like "Well? Come on, its this way!" I could run on a new trail with her in the dark and trust her to lead us back exactly as we came.
Ok, sorry, I truly have become one of those obnoxious people who are obsessed with their dog. And this blog is supposed to be about fitness! So back to that stuff...
I am constantly "trying" (ahhh... there's the problem!) to "get back on track" with everything. I'm tired of it. I know the best way to solve that is to STOP GIVING UP and GIVING IN. I'm usually about a 9:30min/mile lately for my 10k.
Going from an 8:07 Half Marathon (with an injury!) to not being able to get under a 9 for just a 10k leaves me feeling deflated and disappointed. It just goes to show you how much proper nutrition and rest, play into athletic performance. I used to train 3 or 4 days a week. for the past month or so, I've been doing that, but not seeing any improvements. I am undoing all my training by eating too much and eating crap. My same old habits. I'm still me. I still have to battle my gluttonous temptations.
So. Idk. Just feel encouraged that the struggle is real. If you are still out there struggling to achieve your fitness goals, you're not alone. I'm not perfect. I keep on just... not doing what I should be. I'm in a rut. Its hard. I'd love to drop down to 115 lbs of pure muscle, shatter all my race records, sweep every race this next year with 1st places in my division and have another baby. But... I can't always have my cake and eat it too. No pun intended. Does that count as a pun?
Its a beautiful day, I have it off and I am going to enjoy it!
