Still At It

I haven't written anything in a long time because I have been sucking at fitness. I'm probably like 138 lbs right now. still not overweight, but getting close to that line (for my height) according to BMI charts. Which- I know are not the end-all, be-all with measuring your fitness level but whatever. Its a good general guideline.

I had a crazy busy summer. worked 60+ hours almost every week. not really much time for exercise. I was always tired. any free hour I had, I wanted to spend it with my husband and Hailie. Or, if Daniel was working, I wanted to be over at my parent's casa. I made myself run MAYBE twice a week (and that's a generous average). But my speed and endurance went way down. I gained a good 15 pounds. I always thought that once I had my own place, everything would be easier than ever. In many ways it is... but indulgence is more tempting than ever. I love just hanging out at home, cozy on the couch, watching Netflix, or reading articles on my phone... I love running and fitness still but I guess I still have a lazy gene haha.

Eating right has become a chore for me. I keep feeding myself crappy, processed, unhealthy foods and naturally, of course my nutrient starved brain is like "UH, you need to eat some more food..." and its so tasty and and and... you get it. It gets really annoying to count calories. Or just pay attention to what I've been eating. If I'm at work, I'll eat well while I'm there, because I usually pack healthy meals and snacks. Then I get home and eat 6 slices of pizza. or 5 cups of pasta swimming in cheese and salt and pepper... And some Italian seasoning... with the Parmesan on top... sigh.

I have found myself asking myself several times recently... "How the heck did I do it before??" Well, I know HOW I did it... literally... what it takes... the things you do, ways you have to eat... calories you have to burn, etc., etc., etc... But how did I make myself do that? Everyday... for so long? I said no to the pizza at birthday parties... the cake and ice cream...
I remember telling myself "This isn't the last opportunity I will have to taste (insert delicious food here), and I will feel much better about myself tomorrow if I don't eat that.
Nowadays, I have replaced that thought with "I want to eat this so bad! I'm just going to do it!"
Where did my self control go?

I am under more stress now. Money, of course, is at the top of that list. Making it on our own is rewarding in more ways than I can think of at the moment, but the challenges are hard! I'm really into learning about investing money now and I read all kinds of financial articles almost every day.
But back to my point... the stress... Anyone will tell you that stress contributes to weight gain. I should eat better and exercise more to reduce my stress. I'm just lazy sometimes! (a lot of times...)

One thing that I HAVE found to be almost foolproof to getting back on track is to force yourself to have just one victory. Be in the moment and say "I don't need another serving of (whatever food)." or "I don't need just one taste. I am sticking to eating clean and within calorie goal today". I've noticed that if I have just one victory like that, where I follow through and overcome that challenge, the ball is up and rolling again and it snowballs into weeks of eating well. So I start to lose weight again. But, inevitably, something happens. I eat that pizza... and then THAT snowballs... it only takes once... one choice... a good one, or a bad one, to get that ball rolling in whichever respective direction.

As most of you know, I am a nanny. Mon/Tues/Wed and 1 Sunday every 3 weeks, I watch 2, six year old boys.
In the summer, I was pulling 14 hour days with them. Now that they are back in school, I do have that little break in my day and I have been taking advantage of it, running with my mom. We have gone 2 Tuesday mornings in a row now (since I have had the past 2 weeks off cause my boss is on mandatory leave... long story) at 6:30 AM for hill training in Annadel. And I'll be doing a "fun run" tonight at Heart&Sole Sports with the group there. (I got in to it cause my Mama went a few times and makes friends everywhere she goes and is BFFS with everyone there now hahaha ;) love it!)
So that's good. keeping me running. I did 12 Miles this past Sunday and I am feeling it today!
Thursdays and Fridays are the hardest days to fit fitness in to because those days I have another family I nanny for. Just shy of 10 hour days there. But that's life! Nothing new to most people. I have to put on my big girl pants and make myself workout those days too. And eat right.

Another thought I've been having is that I need to set some new running goals for myself. I don't have any races planned in the future. So I just kind of go out for a run... usually a 10k these days. A random number of times every week, no structure to my runs. I haven't been incorporating any speedwork, or endurance training. I think that has me down. I need new shoes really badly (my current ones are probably coming up on (running friends, close your eyes!) 1000+ miles... So that's uninspiring. I'm waiting until Christmas when I will have some gift cards to spend. Hehe.

Oh! One good thing that has gotten me off the couch several times is that we got a puppy! My family hosted a good friend's pregnant German Shepherd and her eventual litter of puppies at their home. It was an accidental breeding. The dad was a Black Lab, so the pups are German Shepradors hahaha (no really, that's a real thing).
Of course we fell in love with the puppies and at 8 weeks, went and bought one :D her name is Katara.
I know... I know... We live in a 1 bedroom apartment with a 20'X12' little yard. And I already have a 12 year old Black Lab, Chloe. "But I'm a competitive runner!" I said. "I'm a high energy person who leads an active lifestyle who would love a dog as a running buddy!" (Chloe is way too old). Now I have to follow through and stick to that commitment. She is still a puppy (17 weeks now) and I have been doing little runs with her since we got her. started out at just a 1 mile jog. slowly progressing to where she can run a 10K now. And I always watch her on a run, making sure she isn't getting tired. And we don't go very fast. I usually let her pace us, and then back off that pace a little. Because (supposedly) too much high impact exercise for a puppy can throw off their growth plates. (idk how much of a problem that really is... I mean if you let a puppy her age play on its own, it is all sprinting, stopping, sprinting again, jumping, tearing through the yard, chasing and play fighting with other dogs etc etc but whatever, better safe than sorry!) She is the best doggie ever! (Stop me if I'm being one of those annoying dog owners who thinks everyone in the world wants to hear all about their dog...)
There are mornings when I really DON'T want to get up at 5:30 to take her out on a bike ride in the dark, before work. But I do it anyways.
She's really fun to take off leash. I know, its against the law most everywhere around here. I guess I'm a rebel. She does amazing off leash, just trotting by my side. or on a trail she will sprint up ahead a little ways, sniff around a little while she waits for me, then start running again when I catch up. She's my real life Lassie.

We found a cool trail along a creek in Rohnert Park, off of Snyder and we went out about 2 miles before we suddenly came up out of the woodsy creek path to a Golf Course. Without a word, we both stopped. Looked at each other. Looked back at the Golf Course. There were people out there golfing and walking and doing other golfy things. I've had other dogs that would have bolted out onto the glorious open grassy fields. (She was off-leash still). She looked back at me and I just said "Well, let's just go back home." And we both simultaneously turned around and started our run back. She moves with me like music. And even if its a first time on a new route, she is better at remembering the way back than I am. She remembered the little hidden turnout path we took to go down by the creek when I wasn't sure. Obviously she possesses some noble wolf-like traits. (I kid). She started up it and looked back at me while I hesitated, looking around making sure it was the right way. She looked like "Well? Come on, its this way!" I could run on a new trail with her in the dark and trust her to lead us back exactly as we came.
Ok, sorry, I truly have become one of those obnoxious people who are obsessed with their dog. And this blog is supposed to be about fitness! So back to that stuff...

I am constantly "trying" (ahhh... there's the problem!) to "get back on track" with everything. I'm tired of it. I know the best way to solve that is to STOP GIVING UP and GIVING IN. I'm usually about a 9:30min/mile lately for my 10k.
Going from an 8:07 Half Marathon (with an injury!) to not being able to get under a 9 for just a 10k leaves me feeling deflated and disappointed. It just goes to show you how much proper nutrition and rest, play into athletic performance. I used to train 3 or 4 days a week. for the past month or so, I've been doing that, but not seeing any improvements. I am undoing all my training by eating too much and eating crap. My same old habits. I'm still me. I still have to battle my gluttonous temptations.

So. Idk. Just feel encouraged that the struggle is real. If you are still out there struggling to achieve your fitness goals, you're not alone. I'm not perfect. I keep on just... not doing what I should be. I'm in a rut. Its hard. I'd love to drop down to 115 lbs of pure muscle, shatter all my race records, sweep every race this next year with 1st places in my division and have another baby. But... I can't always have my cake and eat it too. No pun intended. Does that count as a pun?

Its a beautiful day, I have it off and I am going to enjoy it!

Long Time, No Write... I Know.

Jeez I haven't written in a month or more. Life has been absolutely crazy. I started working full time on the 31st of March. I have kept up running and my eating is usually on track... for the first part of the day... lol. By dinner, I don't know what it is, but I keep eating way too much. Like everyday. My theory is that now that I'm working and being a lot more physically active, I need a lot more calories vs. when I was just at home everyday. So I think I need to just bite the bullet and raise my calories. Maybe then I'd actually start losing again. I havent been gaining but I havent been losing either. Last I checked I was 126.4. But that wasn't first thing in the morning so I don't know. Thank GOD I haven't gained. I'm really shocked about that... I seriously eat like over 2000 calories a day lately and am not gaining weight.
As you may recall from previous posts, I had a goal to be 120 by my mom's birthday. I definitely wasn't 120. So that sucks pretty bad. I am trying to figure out where my commitment went. I mean what the heck man, I was doing so well for so long! I don't know how I did it! How did I say "no" to all the cravings and stuff?
Its really interesting and I think there's something psychological to it. I keep letting myself "cheat". And have been craving sweets like crazy! Mainly chocolate or ice cream or anything with peanut butter.

So besides my eating being off track, at least my running is going strong! Later today my cousin Rebecca and I are gonna run 9 miles. That will be a new personal Record for my distance! I am registered for the Windsor Half-Marathon on May 18th. Gonna run the Human Race (10k) on May 10th and then another Half-Marathon on August 10th before the Santa Rosa Marathon on the 24th of August. Call me crazy but then in October I'm planning to run a 3rd Half. The three of them are a series where if you finish all 3 you get a custom label bottle of wine from I-forget-which-winery. Hahaha. I'm not a huge wine person but I like it alright and a custom bottle sounds pretty cool :)

Soooooooo anyways that's pretty much it lately. I need to recommit to my goals. Ok so here it is... by July 1st, I will be 115 pounds *or* have a 6-pack. Whichever comes first. That's 2 and a half months to lose like 12 pounds. SO do-able!

March Madness! (I know, I'm corny)

Well here we are. The third month of the year is almost halfway over!
I haven't had the best week calorie-wise. Went out for drinks with the girls on sunday night and had a few nights where I ate too much. Not TOO bad... only a few hundred over goal... I gotta have fun SOME times!

And I had some good long distance runs this week and ran Petaluma Hill Road again. I also did pushups yesterday... 3 sets of 8 "girl" pushups (haha). I am soooooore! Quads and armpits. Which I read being really sore can mean your muscles are swollen and therefore retaining water... which would explain why the scale said 126.6 today. No matter. I'm in the frickin 120's on a "fat" day. No complaints here!!

Ugh I seriously need to do abs! What's my problem!? Ok I'm just gonna do some today. I've been super busy but that's no excuse! If I can find time to run, I can find 5 minutes to do some abs!
Here's why I need to do 'em! My un-worked-out abs are starting to show through my blubbery stomach finally!!

So yeah, I'm VERY stoked! NOTE: these pants rock cause they hide my saggy, stretch marked lower belly. Where abs are still invisible. But that doesn't stop me from being stoked about the progress I'm seeing! See, if I would just frickin buckle down and work 'em! 

Oh yeah, so I think it was Monday of this week, I did 7 miles again on Petaluma Hill Road... guess what, they were 8:11 minute miles!! That's almost my 5K speed!!! What the heck! I don't know how it happened. Sometimes you just have a day where it all just "clicks" and you float through your run and magically PR. I got a lot of sleep the night before. Maybe that had something to do with it. 

Oh yeah, I gotta tell you guys about this amazing pre-workout powder!! (I wasn't using it for that 7 mile run... but if I had they probably would have been 7 minute miles haha)

But yeah, the stuff is called C4 oh my gosh, you will PR if you use it! Costco has the best deal! $38.99 for TWO tubs! I paid $36 at GNC for ONE. What the heck. The only downside is Costco only has the fruit punch flavor and GNC has tons of flavors (LIKE WATERMELON OMG NOM). I'm not kidding though, this stuff is incredible. You have SO MUCH ENERGY. Its super powerful. If you aren't already working out when it kicks in, you get this bad "pins and needles" feeling all over your body. The more sedentary you are, the more it hurts. So yeah, just a little tip for you. Drink it and get moving asap!! I'm not gonna use it every workout. For races, yes, and maybe every now and then when I'm adding mileage. Cause I don't want to feel like I "always need it" and stuff. But if you want a good pre-workout drink, "C4 Extreme" is the stuff, I tell ya!

Anywaaayyys, enough plugging products. Hope you are all having a fantastic week! I'm gonna go eat some old fashioned oatmeal with 1/4 cup of whole milk in it with a dash of cinnamon, as my breakfast. Have a great week, all!

200 days and counting!

Yesterday was my 200th day in my streak on MyFitnessPal. That means 200 days since my weightloss/healthy journey began. It doesn't feel like its been that long! As I've said before... I'm glad I started when I did. I didn't wait for "monday". Didn't wait till "the first of the month", or even "first of the year". I just started. What I was currently eating was what was maintaining my obesity/helping me gain more. As hard as it may be for some people to accept, your weight is in your complete control. No one else's. No one is holding a gun to your head, telling you to keep eating. Telling you to eat another cupcake or piece of chicken or slice of pizza or whatever your drug of choice is. I say drug because researchers are now finding that eating certain foods for most people triggers a dopamine release in the brain the same as a drug addict's when they get their fix. It may not be as strong as say, heroine or cocaine, but it is the same thing that happens. You sink your teeth into that pizza or bloomin' onion or doughnut and your brain says "YESSSS!" obviously, that rush soon subsides and the brain wants it again. We are wired biologically to be pleasure seakers. The Good Lord put this in us because it helps us servive in the natural world he first created us in. But nowadays... there are calories galore... too many... and when that gets combined with low nutrition per calorie, you have someone who is literally starving from a nutritional standpoint but yet they are quite noticeably overweight or obese. You've got to eat nutritious foods. Sure, treats are fun now and then. Like Sunday... I ate fried Calamari and Fish n Chips! (Probably why I only lost 0.4 pounds this week haha) but it was a fun treat, I enjoyed it and am done with it. That's the first time in months I have eaten anything deep fried. I don't do it everyday or I will blow back up to my obese self. 

So yeah. Not to lecture, but that stuff has been on my mind lately.

Anywaaayyysss things have been going aight. Like I said, cheat meal happened on Sunday evening. And I went a little over my calories on friday and saturday so today my weight is 127.2. I'm totally happy with that. I have been sick now with a bad cold for over a week. Despite that, I still have the energy to train for our half marathon. The mileage has been low (5 miles was my biggest run this week) but at least I'm getting out there! Never before would I have been able to comfortably run 5 miles with a sinus infection!! I guarantee you, it is because of what I have been eating. I eat to fuel my body now. Not to please my tongue. (Ok, sometimes I please my tongue...).

I think that's pretty much it for this week. Thanks for reading :)

Transformation pic I forgot to post here!:

Get yo head in the game!

Well, as of today I am the same weight as I was the last time I wrote, two weeks ago. This morning I was 131.2. Which is a good weight, I'm not complaining by any means, but I've just been maintaining my weight lately and I feel like I need to recommit to my goals. I keep having "cheat days" which turn into "cheat weekends". It isn't even bad food. Just more food than I should be having in order to continue towards my fitness goals. Especially when I go to my parent's. I just want to join in the fun there and enjoy myself! But. Time to buckle down again. by the end of February I want to put up a 126. That's about a 5 pound loss for February. Easily achievable.

Training has been going well. Rebecca and I are right on track! On Tuesday, she didn't have time to run so I just ran alone. Decided to try to do a fast 5K and see how my speed was. I thought I wouldn't do very well since we've been training for distance so much lately but I put up a brand new PR! Sub-25 minutes with a 24:46! Over a minute faster than my previous best. I don't know how it happened. I just went HARD the whole time. Sprinted the last 0.10 miles. And it just happened. I think this next week is our last week of distance training and then we will begin our speed training.

I officially won two more Diet Bets as of today! They are still finalizing other player's numbers so I won't know how much money I have won until another day and a half but I expect it to be around $100. So that is pretty cool :)
and I signed up for a few more to keep my motivation going and to kick February into higher gear! I figure I can pay for the new ones with my current winnings and then once I win the new ones, THAT money can go for my Human Race entrance fee and whatever else.

My husband Daniel has been doing amazing still! he had a cheat day last Sunday and still managed to put up an incredible loss this week! He's losing more than what most people recommend, but he started out at a higher weight and so its different than if someone like me was to be putting up numbers like that. Once again, he's going to be posting a blog which I will share on my facebook, so I don't want to give away his stats... But it has been a month so he is posting some non-scale victories and they are shocking!

Sunday is Superbowl Sunday. We are going to my sister-in-law's new place for a party. We'll be bringing hot wings, bbq wings, and some healthy appetizers and deserts. That will keep me on track. I may have a beer or two, we'll see what my calories allow for, haha. I will probably let myself go over a little, since I'm only at the beginning of the month and diet bets, but I'm not going to pig out a ton and eat too much. I will be avoiding potato chips and dip, as that is one of my food weaknesses and once I have one, I just can't seem to stop. So that is my battle plan.
Valentine's day is coming up soon too. I plan to just have a few of whatever sweets I get. Just a little treat or two. Won't let myself pig out. I need to focus on myself again. Get my head in the game!
Since I've only lost another 5 pounds since my last progress pictures I'm still not posting any new ones. Maybe by the end of this month there will be a noticeable change if I drop another 5 pounds.

I really really need to stop procrastinating weight training. I am a cardio gal. Heck, I have lost over 40 pounds with cardio! But I seriously need to do some squats, deadlifts, work my arms and my core. I need to just buckle down, lift the heavy weights, and get stronger. my arms are too skinny. They need some meat on them. (actual meat, not more fat...)

I have been feeling guilty lately for being this thin. I had a few comments from a couple people (who are overweight themselves) that I need to make sure I "don't go too far" and "You will not look good if you lose more weight. It will just be gross. 120 is WAAAYYY too thin for you!" (Nevermind the fact that it is a PERFECTLY NORMAL weight for someone of my height. that would only be like a 22(ish) on a BMI scale. I would have to weigh less than 108 for it to be considered underweight. and I don't think its possible to weigh that little and still maintain the muscles I have. Seriously. I will never get THAT skinny.
But yeah, after those comments I have been feeling bad and self-conscious and afraid to lose more weight kinda. That's one reason why I didn't post a blog last week. I guess I'm just afraid of people thinking I'm getting too thin. But I seriously am not! Maybe I should post more pics so you can see I still have a very flabby stomach. I know that's a lot of pregnancy loose skin but trust me, there is plenty of fat in there still. And I want a version of a 6-pack by summer so, ya know. Gotta cut the fat and grow the muscles. 120 is just a goal. its more about what I look like now than what the scale says. It is just a number I'm shooting for, but the real finish line will be that stomach definition. You know what, I'll do it. I'll show you guys my stomach when I DON'T suck it in:

Yeah, there... you see? Def not too skinny. Its very squishy and jiggly and flabby. Not anything compared to what it used to be, but I look 15 weeks pregnant if I don't suck it in! Again, not complaining. I guess I'm just trying to justify my goals? So there! Haha well that's all for now. Thanks for reading!

Oh wait! I almost forgot to show you guys this picture! I must have been 13/14 in it and I am obviously woofing down nachos. This was in my very chubby days. My sister Julia found it and sent it to me a couple days ago:

Ugh, SO embarrassing! The ultimate "fatty" picture! Ok bye for reals now :)

Day 152

Well I hopped on the scale this morning and it said 133.6! So I lost like 3 or 4 punds this week which is more than I should be losing. So I'm upping my calories to 1600/day. But I  am now sub-previous goal!
I assume its from the 10k training... massive calorie burn.

Speaking of the training, its going very well! My trusty running buddy and cousin, Rebecca and I are up to running about 5 miles now (with our short walks every 2000 yards, as prescribed by our program). That doesnt include warm up/cool down distances. We are almost finished with week 2. Just need to run tomorrow. 10k is the equivalent of 6.2 miles, so we have a little ways to go before we're putting up that number. 4 more weeks to be exact. Then its on to speed training! Its way more fun to run with a friend than to run alone. To me anyway.

It has been easier to eat clean now with my husband on board doing the same thing as I am. No more junk food temptations in the house haha.
So I just wanted to give a little update. My stomach has noticeably gotten flatter. Here's my measurements:

Last time (12/13)           Today:

Arm: 10.5"                      Arm: 10"

Waist: 29.5"                   Waist: 29"

Hips: 34.5"                     Hips: 34.5"

Thigh: 22"                      Thigh: 21"

Calf: 14.25"                    Calf: 14"

So I have definitely lost inches everywhere but my hips! Fine by me! I feel so free! Its fun :)

So yeah that about wraps it up for today.

Here's some motivation:   :)

Mission Accomplished :)

You guys, I did it!! I DID IT!

it took 124 days. Running over 314 miles. (That doesn't include the miles I have walked)

Counting almost every calorie. I have lost 37.6 pounds and finally hit my goal! OMG!

There it is my friends, 135 pounds, right on the money this morning! I did it!! 

as for measurements:

Last week:                Today:

Arms 10.5"                 10.5"

Waist 29.75"              29.5"

Hips 35.5"                  34.5"

Thighs 22"                 22"

Calves 14.25"            14.25"

In case anyone questions whether or not I did it healthily, I lost an average of 2.12 pounds per week... which is a little more than recommended, but I started at an obese weight and it came off really quickly in the beginning, before I even started blogging. I ate on average, 1400 calories a day. Exercised a minimum of 4 days a week. I used the C25K program (apps available) to get into running. I went from barely being able to jog for 60 seconds without being out of breath, to being able to run 5K (3.11 miles) in 27:11 (yep, new PR last Saturday!)

Believe me, I get all my vitamins and minerals, meet my macros, and I feel amazing. my nails are healthier and grow faster. my hair is long, full and shiny. I have lots of muscle (and am working on building more now!)

It also is worth mentioning that i have continued to successfully nurse Hailie throughout this whole weight loss journey. If I wasn't eating enough for my body needs, that wouldn't have worked.

I have more energy than I know what to do with. I have no problem getting on the floor and playing with my little 1 year old daughter for however long she wants. I'm not done yet. I can weigh as little as 108 pounds and still be considered "normal" and healthy. I'm probably not going to get down that low ever, but I'm thinking of shooting for the 100-and-teens. 

Here's a couple screenshots from my weight-tracking app today:

As you can see, the weight came off really fast at first, and then everything settled into a pretty steady pace. 

For now, I have a few more days of my diet bet games... I needed to be 137.3 in order to win, and I have surpassed that. So a few more days of maintaining or losing more and then I will enjoy some Christmas treats (in moderation!) enough to maintain my weight. After New Year's, I will start Operation Six-Pack! haha. I don't know what that would look like, seeing as I have stretch marks and loose stomach skin. But I will try to get as close as I can. Don't know what that weight would be, but there is still a good layer of blubber over my stomach. Won't be very hard. I'm going to try to lose at a slower rate though, It has been coming off faster than I want, for the past week. My goal now is to be, look, and feel FIT. not skinny, but fit. 

The above picture is me at the start... about 172 pounds. Obese. Unhappy. Lying to myself about my body. And the picture on the right is today. 135 and i feel 100% different.

I used to avoid ever getting on the scale. I would tell myself I wasn't really that fat. I made jokes about my stomach. I hated how I felt though. I had to get honest, buckle down and just do it. It was really hard sometimes. You guys have been reading this most of the time. I battled myself more than anything. There were nights when I REALLY wanted to stuff my face. My stomach can be a bottomless, black hole of a pit. This is not over. Reaching my goal is by no means a license to go back to the way things were. granted, I DO have to eat more calories in order to stop losing weight, but I will gain it all back if I stop eating healthy and clean. Those old habits are right there waiting for me to let my guard down. I will NEVER weigh that much again!! (unless I'm actually pregnant... then it is possible.)

Definitely won't get up to the previous highest pregnancy weight of 205 pounds. 

One thing I just have to write about... a couple times I have felt bad about writing all this thinking of readers who are bigger than my biggest... I have been afraid that they read it and criticize me for feeling too fat when I'm so much smaller than them. I have been afraid that they would say to me "yeah right, you don't know what its like to REALLY be fat." I know I may not have ever been SUPER fat, but medically I WAS OBESE. Not morbidly, but still. For me personally, it was too much. For me personally, I still have too much fat on my stomach. Everyone's journey is different. I want to be here for anyone and anyone looking for support or a way out. I lost just shy of 40 pounds. in almost 5 months. Maybe you weigh WAYYYY more than I ever did, and feel like its impossible. Don't buy in to the message that losing weight is impossible. I DID it! most of my readers actually KNOW ME. They have seen it all in person! I am surprised that I have really done it. I really am... because I used to believe it wasn't really possible. "I just can't seem to ever lose this weight!" I'd seen other people do it, and wish it was me. WISH NO MORE, PEOPLE. YOU CAN DO IT. I'm gonna pay it forward, and if anyone wants help, I will help!! Message me on facebook, or email me at dalahshawty@yahoo.com and I will do my best to help you. I can give you personalized calorie goals, workout schedules, meal plans, all the support you need, whatever it is. I'm serious, I feel so amazing, I long for everyone struggling with their weight to feel this way!! Now I see people at the store, or wherever and I see myself in their shoes. The old me. and I know how to help now! I know how to lose all that extra weight! Hopefully I don't sound cocky or conceited, like I'm "so smart" or "so cool" or something. I'm just really honestly SO excited about all of this. Please know, my heart is never to judge or anything... because I HAVE BEEN THERE. Not having anything to wear because I have grown out of all my clothes. Not caring anymore. I have been there. But I found the way out, and I can help you get out too! It takes a hell of a lot of commitment, but just about anyone can do it. 

I will write again with a weigh-in on Christmas Eve, because that was my goal date, and I want to see what I really weigh on that day. Thank you for following me on this journey, all the supportive comments have helped me more than you guys know. There were days I wanted to just give up, eat a ton of food, whatever and I thought of all my readers who are rooting for me, and who would have to know I failed. It helped to write about all of this so much. You guys have helped me reach this goal. my BMI is now 23.9 (Healthy) and I started at 30.5 (Obese). Talk to you all on Christmas EVE!!

Are we there yet?

I'm really beginning to notice how a positive attitude has a huuuge impact on my body. The weeks when I get all negative, stressed and down on myself, I lose almost nothing. And then the weeks where I keep my head up, focus, stay positive, upbeat and happy, I suddenly drop a ton of weight. Even if Daniel and I DID bake Chocolate Chip cookies last night and eat 2! (yes, I managed to only eat 2!!)

I know I'm getting closer and closer to my goal, any week now i will hit it! One of my apps is predicting I'll hit it by December 11th so let's see what we have today! *steps on scale*:
136.6!! Another 2 pounds lost! I'm pretty stoked!! Only 1.6 pounds away from goal! I could very well put up 135 next week. Who knows if i will, but it is a very real possibility now!
I'm only 4 pounds away from having lost 40. All through lots of exercise (mainly running) and clean, balanced eating. Never felt deprived. Never suffered.

Oh, and I know I didn't post my measurements last week. It was really cold and I was lazy. But here are this week's!

Today:                             Previously (11/22/13):
Arm: 10.5"                     Arm: 11"
Waist: 29.75"                 Waist: 30"
Hips: 35.5"                     Hips: 36"
Thighs: 22"                     Thighs: 22.5"
Calf: 14.25"                    Calf: 14.25"

Its really important that I see drops in those numbers when I see drops on the scale. Because then I know I am losing fat. Not just water or muscle weight. So I am happy with those numbers today :)

I am having to curb my running a little bit. I'm getting a good amount of pain in my right foot. Its like... above the arch, on the side of my foot. There's these bones and the one closer to my ankle has been killing me if i run on road that is slanted to the left. If i run on even ground, or ground slanted to the right, its all gravy. But otherwise, its bad. Especially if i go for more than 3.1 miles (5k). Here, I'll use the ole' Google to show you which bones:

Pretty sure its one of the joints on the "Tuberosity" bone. I think its the "Talocalcaneonavicular joint". That's exactly where the pain is. Really weird place, it seems like.

Any of my running readers know a cause/solution? I think it must be my form. If I make a conscious effort to keep that foot straight when running, it seems to help. I twisted or sprained (or whatever) that ankle several times in the past and I think it could have had something to do with that? Then again, this is a fairly new problem... not more than a month old so maybe its my new shoes? I got them the last week of October.
This really sucks though, many times I have to just go for a walk instead of running. I can't get faster if I can't train enough! And its not going to help my weight loss pace.

Anyways, besides the foot, everything has been going pretty good. I'll do a progress pic when I make goal weight. I continue to be inspired by a lot of fitness page posts on Instagram (follow me: heartsonfire707)
So here are a few from this week:

And what was your excuse again?

Now on to a new week!

Stalled out >:(

I have been wracked with nerves this week. I'm not sure what caused it, but I feel almost sure I haven't lost weight. So time to get on the scale and get out the tape measure:

Scale says 140.6... that's exactly where I was last week. I was right... no weight lost.
Its really really annoying and frustrating. It is kind of to be expected though. From what I have read, that is typical after a week or 2 of really rapid weight loss. But I didn't mean to lose so quickly! It just happened on its own!

Arms were 11.5"
Waist 30"
Hips 36"
Thighs 22.5"
Calves 14.25

Everything is the same as last week except I guess I lost 1/4" off my calves. So maybe I gained muscle? To be honest, my arms are a little more defined and I ran 5.5 miles on wednesday which is farther than I've ever gone and I was sore from it so maybe that added some muscle?
Sigh. I would be lying if I said I wasn't dissapointed. But oh well. What are you gonna do, ya know? Gotta push harder this week.

I have 6 days until Thanksgiving. I might weigh in thanksgiving morning instead of the next day because I KNOW I will have a bunch of food in me that will effect everything. I'm not going to binge, but I plan on enjoying a piece of pie and a serving of the things I like. Probably gonna have a huge guilt trip afterwards though.
Maybe I'm taking this all too seriously? Its tiring obsessing over this stuff. So that makes me wonder if I should just relax and have a cheat day again? But then I think "no! You didn't lose anything this week!"
I bet I will put up a good number next week. Since I lost nothing this week.

I SOOOOO wanted to be in the 130's by this week! Guess I was too presumptuous last week when I said I was sure I would do it this week. That's what I get, I suppose. Pride goeth before the fall.

Part of what has been causing my fears and anxiety over all this, is I joined this online betting site called dietbetter.com. each game is different, but for example, you put in $25 to join. Everyone in that game puts in $25. The bet is, you have 28 days to lose 4% of your body weight. That's almost goal weight for me so I was like "I'm sure I can do it!" Everyone who completes the 4% weight loss wins, and splits the pot with other winners. It is a GREAT motivational tool and I have found a lot of the people on the sight are very supportive! Everyone there has the same goal as you. It is a great concept! Now that I have so much money on the line though, I'm scared out of my mind that something is gonna happen and I won't lose the weight! (And today's results aren't helping). You can join up to 3 games at once. Which I am guilty of. They all end December 15th and final weigh in is December 15th-17th. I could win alot of money... one of the game pots is over $13,000. I will keep you all updated on the game. I'm so nervous!
But I know I can do it. I have to be strong and keep going! Today won't hold me back. It can't. It sucks really bad, but I have to keep going. No more little snacks here and there. "Just one bite" DOES hurt.
Gonna go hard this week on the workouts!!

<a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"><img border="0" src="http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/4239/1699/42391699.png" /></a><p style="text-align:center;width:420px;"><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com">Free Calorie Counter</a></small></p>