Back on track

Not sure if it was because I had the stomach flu on Wednesday, or I worked really hard (probably mostly the stomach flu)
But the scale on Thursday (yesterday) morning said 137.2!!!
But... because I'm sure I was still dehydrated from Wednesday, I'm going to use today's weight of 138.6.
I said last week that I was going to use Thursday morning's weight because I thought a huge thanksgiving dinner would throw off my weight but that was before I got sick.
I still wasn't myself last night and I could hardly eat at all. Pretty disappointing. I didn't even eat dessert. But it works out great for my weight loss. I only have 3.6 more pounds to go and 3.5 weeks to do it. I'm so close! Light at the end of the tunnel is in sight.

I haven't worked out since tuesday. I hope to be strong enough to run tomorrow. I had a new 5k PR! It was 27:38 on 11/23 (last Saturday) my previous was 28:55 so that was a big improvent!

I was a lot less stressed this past week. I felt much happier and confident. I'm really trying to enjoy the new me more, and be proud of myself.

I found a $10 bill out on the sidewalk on wednesday. I was going to try to go for a walk (even though I was sick) because I set my GymPact app pact for 7 days/week. So if I didn't walk at least, I'd get charged $5 for not working out that day. But since I found the $10 I figured that was from God so I didn't have to go haha
:)

So all in all, its been a good week! I'm very happy with where I'm at and confident that I will reach my goals!
I have high hopes for winning my
http://www.dietbetter.com/games/28061
Games! (That link will take you to the game I'm in with the highest pot. Really cool)
So there we have it. Little post-Thanksgibing blog for y'all :)

Stalled out >:(

I have been wracked with nerves this week. I'm not sure what caused it, but I feel almost sure I haven't lost weight. So time to get on the scale and get out the tape measure:

Scale says 140.6... that's exactly where I was last week. I was right... no weight lost.
Its really really annoying and frustrating. It is kind of to be expected though. From what I have read, that is typical after a week or 2 of really rapid weight loss. But I didn't mean to lose so quickly! It just happened on its own!

Arms were 11.5"
Waist 30"
Hips 36"
Thighs 22.5"
Calves 14.25

Everything is the same as last week except I guess I lost 1/4" off my calves. So maybe I gained muscle? To be honest, my arms are a little more defined and I ran 5.5 miles on wednesday which is farther than I've ever gone and I was sore from it so maybe that added some muscle?
Sigh. I would be lying if I said I wasn't dissapointed. But oh well. What are you gonna do, ya know? Gotta push harder this week.

I have 6 days until Thanksgiving. I might weigh in thanksgiving morning instead of the next day because I KNOW I will have a bunch of food in me that will effect everything. I'm not going to binge, but I plan on enjoying a piece of pie and a serving of the things I like. Probably gonna have a huge guilt trip afterwards though.
Maybe I'm taking this all too seriously? Its tiring obsessing over this stuff. So that makes me wonder if I should just relax and have a cheat day again? But then I think "no! You didn't lose anything this week!"
I bet I will put up a good number next week. Since I lost nothing this week.

I SOOOOO wanted to be in the 130's by this week! Guess I was too presumptuous last week when I said I was sure I would do it this week. That's what I get, I suppose. Pride goeth before the fall.

Part of what has been causing my fears and anxiety over all this, is I joined this online betting site called dietbetter.com. each game is different, but for example, you put in $25 to join. Everyone in that game puts in $25. The bet is, you have 28 days to lose 4% of your body weight. That's almost goal weight for me so I was like "I'm sure I can do it!" Everyone who completes the 4% weight loss wins, and splits the pot with other winners. It is a GREAT motivational tool and I have found a lot of the people on the sight are very supportive! Everyone there has the same goal as you. It is a great concept! Now that I have so much money on the line though, I'm scared out of my mind that something is gonna happen and I won't lose the weight! (And today's results aren't helping). You can join up to 3 games at once. Which I am guilty of. They all end December 15th and final weigh in is December 15th-17th. I could win alot of money... one of the game pots is over $13,000. I will keep you all updated on the game. I'm so nervous!
But I know I can do it. I have to be strong and keep going! Today won't hold me back. It can't. It sucks really bad, but I have to keep going. No more little snacks here and there. "Just one bite" DOES hurt.
Gonna go hard this week on the workouts!!

<a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"><img border="0" src="http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/4239/1699/42391699.png" /></a><p style="text-align:center;width:420px;"><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com">Free Calorie Counter</a></small></p>

What Its Really Like

I feel strange in this new body sometimes. I think I'm so unfamiliar with it. It is ever changing and deflating. Its hard sometimes (I know right... poor me... haha).

I feel the opposite of what it seems I should be feeling! I have these moments and days where I am proud and confident, but then other days where I'm kinda self conscious about how I look. I guess so much focusing on my body, trying to make it better, makes me notice everything I don't like and the imperfections.
There was a reason I was fat. There were bad habits and no doubt some psychological reasons behind it all that I need to think about, pray about and figure out.
I think now that the weight is coming off I feel vulnerable. I'm not hidden under a nice layer of fat.
I've said it before but it bears repeating that weight loss is almost all mental. The physical part is easy. Its the mental part you gotta work on. All your troubles and reasons aren't going to go away as the pounds melt. They'll be uncovered, more likely.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm just like "Daaaaayum!" And other times I see my stomach sticking out still. Having stretch marks doesn't help. And my hips still seem too wide. I know I'm still a work in progress... its a comforting thought. But there will always be room for improvement and I need to start to love myself more so I can enjoy the new me! I just look in the mirror sometimes and my mind is used to seeing and criticizing the old me. The new skinnier me is, well... new. I'm not used to it yet. So I guess you could say its almost like I'm having a mild identity crisis haha.

Ok, now for weigh-in results! Last week I was 142.8 pounds... today I am 140.6! 2.2 pounds lost!! Once again, I am completely shocked.

I don't know how I'm losing so fast all of the sudden! Maybe lifting weights really is making a huge difference? I knew it would help, just didn't know it could be THIS MUCH! I have lost a total of 32 pounds now. My BMI today is 24.9... I am now officially not considered overweight! (By 0.1 points lol). Just by the skin of my teeth isn't good enough though, that's why 135 is my goal. I will undoubtedly be in the 130's by next week. I can wait to see those numbers on the scale!

Picture proof of today (not that you don't believe me... and I know, I need to fix my toenails haha. Kinda ratchet.)

Oh yes, measurements have to be done!

Start arm (11/1): 12"   Last week's arm: 11.5"      Today: 11"

Start waist: 31"           Last week's waist: 30.5"     Today: 30"

Start hips: 37.5"          Last week's hips: 36.5"      Today: 36"

Start thighs: 23"          Last week's thighs: 22.5"    Today: 22.5"

Start calves: 15"         Last week's calves: 14.5"   Today: 14"

So I lost inches everywhere but my thighs! (which is totally fine with me. I like my legs lately)

Something cool I noticed: This past week Hailie was playing in the closet and kept wanting to open and close her sock drawer (as most any 1-yr-old would!) But she wasn't so good at the opening part. Meanwhile across the bedroom, I was rubbing my husband Daniel's back while he watched Dirty Jobs on Netflix. Hailie kept calling me to open the drawer every minute or so, and without even realizing it, I kept getting up, running to help her, then running back to Daniel. This went on for several minutes. Then I noticed: it wasn't hard for me to get up! I was just doing it! Over and over without any trouble at all! It wasn't a pain in the butt!

I have a lot more energy now. That same night, I spent a good half hour pushing her around in her beloved Costco grocery box and making driving and crashing noises to make her laugh. And playing ball with her. And then making and cleaning up dinner, picking up all Hailie's messes... it is really cool! I feel almost like I did when I was 10 years old giving horsy rides to little brothers. It doesn't take the wind out of me to get down on the floor and play with my baby and THAT is priceless!

I have had a lot of people ask me what I'm doing and how I'm losing all this weight. I've talked about it in past blogs but not everyone has read them all so I'll try to explain it again in a nutshell:
Basically eating clean (well... most of the time!), keeping a food journal (Myfitnesspal app makes this a breeze!), counting all calories, running and finally, lifting weights.

I took a nutrition class at the jc 2 years ago and I have read several books on the subject so I had some knowledge already. The way the human body works is something I've always been interested in, and I have found it very easy to retain the information I learn. Nevertheless, the days leading up to the start of my weight loss journey, I literally Googled things like "how to lose weight." You can learn most of what you need to know by doing that. Google your resting metabolic rate. Multiply it by 1.4, if you are somewhat active. Then cut 500 calories from that number per day through diet and/or exercise and you should lose roughly a pound per week. Cut more, lose more. Most medical professionals agree that you shouldn't try to lose more than 2 lbs per week. More than that may be unhealthy unless you are in the class II level of obesity. It really is that simple though. Figure out your numbers, stick to it, adjust according to weekly results if needed and it will work. There's no magic pill. No special workout. I don't eat "low fat" stuff. I'm not on a "low carb" plan. I eat healthy, balanced meals, in proper portions. 

You have to put in the work and effort and time. "Calories in, calories out." As my Nonnie used to say. (My Mom's mom... she knows what she's talking about.)

This is a screenshot of another app I've been using called "Monitor Your Weight"

It is SUPER useful in that it will keep track of all your weigh-ins, and as shown, it will graph it all for you and give you a projected date of goal completion! which, as you can see, I am 2 weeks ahead of schedule! Its predicting that I'll reach goal weight by December 10th!

The green dotted line is your goal. The brown one is how you are doing right now. If it falls below the green line, you are ahead of schedule. If it falls above... you are behind schedule.

This is a screenshot from the same app, but its the "Current Details" tab. Basically like the home page:

I don't follow the "diet" line... I have my own plan. Which by the way, it changed again today. The more weight you lose, the less calories you need... so you need to consume a fewer amount of calories in order to lose weight at the same rate. So MyFitnessPal app is now saying I should consume 1220 a day. :( 

I will probably still eat pretty close to 1300 haha since I have been losing so rapidly at that number.

I'm so glad I started this, when I did. In 4 days, this Tuesday, will be my 100th day into my weightloss journey. 100 days of counting almost every single calorie. Even "cheat" ones. 100 days. I am down over 30 pounds in less than 100 days. Wow. I am soooooo glad that I started when I did. I can't imagine if I HADN'T started! I would feel so devastated if I was still at my starting weight (or heavier!!) today! I didn't wait for "this Monday", "New Year's Day" or "next week" I started in the moment. I couldn't take it anymore. The fat had to stop! No more wishing and longing! I chose to just get up and do it! And I'm so glad that I did, when I did! 

Exciting results this week!

Well it has been quite a week! New achievements (ran my first real 5k race!), new goals to set (10k race, or another 5k?) And ongoing challenges! Like hoping to lose weight enough to reach my goal!

After the race I treated myself to a doughnut. I did it, and I liked it. And I had JUST ONE. I felt fine after, until I noticed the next 24 hrs my cravings were elevated. And I felt like I was failing at weight loss even though it was just one. Which got me thinkin... that happens every time I eat junk food. Luckily the next day (last Sunday) I managed to do alright but usually when I eat food that isn't healthy, I feel like I'm failing. When I feel like I'm failing, I start to think about quitting. When i think of quitting, i tend to eat more bad food. Or too much food. I feel lethargic. Like I should just give up and give in to these newly resurfaced cravings. It starts off this chain reaction inside my head. I have to consciously stop, force myself to break free of the downward spiral, no matter how hard it is and just get back at it the next day. Its a new day, fresh start... "I can do this. I WILL do this." ...and that's how I do it. Its weird cause even with the doughnut, I was under my calorie goal, yet it still set off the negative chain reaction. I ate something extremely dense in calories with very little nutritional value. My goal is the opposite: I want to pack a punch in nutrition with every calorie I eat. It isn't all about staying in that calorie limit. Its about getting all your nutrients in with those calories. And you know what? The days when I eat really well I do not at all feel deprived or hungry still. Because my body has been given the fuel it needed. It is pretty easy for me to feel happy and satisfied on just 1300 calories a day - as long as I eat the right foods! Junk food leaves me hungry again within an hour because my body still needs more nutrients! So that was just a little observation :)

I have been thinking about what my new running goals should be. I want to get under 25 minutes for a 5k. I know my race time was 23:47 but that is RACE TIME. obviously the adrenaline rush and all the people around me had me running way faster than normal and thankfully I trained enough to have the stamina to get me to the finish, but I wanna be able to do that on any given day. After I do that and during my training I want to start doing longer distances. Maybe by spring I can run a 10k or a half marathon! I want to work on speed still but endurance running is where the calorie burn will be at. If I can run for 2 hours, I will burn more calories than running 3.1 miles (5k) as fast as I can. Its science.

I am thrilled to be where I am today. It is shocking! 

Last week I was 145.6. Today I stepped on the scale and I kid you not, I am 142.8!!! Almost 3 pounds lost, my only explanation is that maybe I was carrying some extra water weight the last few weeks? The only thing I did different was that I balanced my calories better throughout the day. What I mean by that is, I ate bigger breakfasts and smaller dinners. Usually I just have oatmeal (150 cals) for breakfast, and a 400 calorie salad for lunch, a small fruit or veggie snack and then spend all the rest of my calories on a good dinner. But most days this week I had a more filling breakfast and a smaller dinner. I don't know if that made the difference but man... here is a pic to prove it!!!

Oh and my measurements:
Last week's arms: 12" Today: 11.5"

Last week's waist: 31" Today: 30.5"

Last week's hips: 37.5" Today 36.5"

Last week's thighs: 23" Today: 22.5

Last week's calves: 15" Today: 14.5"

I'm glad I gave myself a weight loss goal challenging enough, yet achievable. At first I was gonna make my goal to weigh 145. But I was like "what if I can do better? If I'm really gonna do this, why not go as far as I want and think I really can?" Get out of that comfort zone. Take a risk. Challenge yourself! I know I haven't met my goal yet, but I'm almost there! I'm really going to do it! 46 more days to lose 7.8 pounds! That means I only need to lose 1.2 pounds a week now. But I'm not going to stop doing what I'm doing. I'm not gonna go easy on myself. maybe I can pass 135 on Christmas Eve! I will probably skip my weigh in the Friday before December 24th and just weigh in on my actual Christmas Eve goal day. 

I'm glad I didn't limit myself to just trying to get down to 145! Because I have passed that now! I officially weigh less than I can ever remember weighing. When I was a kid, I was normal and skinny. So I never thought twice about what I weighed. I tried dieting during my teenage years and the lowest I can ever remember getting down to was 146. So now I have beaten that. It is quite an accomplishment

All of that, but i need to remind myself I'm not "there" yet. I have a long way to go still.
Just when I think I've gotten really skinny, I get a piece of humble pie. There's always a little something that reminds me I'm still medically overweight. Like a reflection in a store window as I walk past, a tshirt I thought I was finally small enough to wear, or something else throughout the day. I don't want to be rail thin. Just want all my extra fat to be gone! I want to be fit. I want to walk and see ripples of muscle working. Not fat. I can't believe such a short time ago I was obese. Now I'm just overweight. At the time I started, I would have given anything to be where I'm at now, and I would have been satisfied. But now that I've come this far, I know I can go all the way and I know the body I could have. So I won't be satisfied till I get there! I have figured out what my next weight loss goal will be, but I'm not gonna tell until I reach my goal weight ;) mwahahaha

Most of this week was good. I tried running with Hailie in the jogging stroller twice. She didn't much care for it and the stupid stroller constantly turns to the left like a really bad shopping cart. Imagine trying to run less than 10 minute miles with that... my knees hurt from trying to twist it the opposite directoon the whole time. And one of my shoulders. I just feel really bad though trying to find someone to watch Hailie 5X a week for up to an hour without paying them. I feel guilty like I'm just using everyone. I tell myself it isn't true, and they insist they are happy to watch her, but deep down, I feel bad.
ANYWAYYYS so if you see or hear of a free jogging stroller that works, holler at me haha.

On a completely unrelated note, Eminem's new album is so good! (MMLP2). One of the songs is stuck in my head right now. But I don't know all the words yet so I just have this one part in my head. Anyways, good running music on that album!

Here's a progress pic followed by my weekly motivating pics I find on instagram:

Run Or Dye 5k race!

My heart is full to bursting with happiness and joy today! The race was more fun than I thought it would be! I had hoped to beat my previous 28:55 record and I killed it! My time was 23:47!
I can only assume it was the adrenaline rush of the race that got me to the finish line that fast. Right after I started running, I realized I forgot my inhaler! I had to walk for a minute so I could text all my family asking someone to run me my inhaler from my purse! My sisters Julia and Bella saved the day! After the first kilometer I saw them on the side. I hit it twice and off I flew! Runkeeper (running app) kept me updated every 2 minutes on my time, distance and speed. My average speed was over 8 mph. My previous best was 6.5. I felt it several times, especially uphills but I pushed through it! My whole family came out to cheer me on, and at the end, they threw the dye powder all over me! I was coated from head to toe!! It was sooooo fun!!! I would recommend it to anyone and everyone everywhere, any fitness level! I felt pretty cool passing people (not in a mean way; just proud of myself). All my training paid off. The muscles I've built for the past few months did their jobs! It is amazing what the human body is capable of doing. It can change and adapt so fast! This was a day to remember!! I am going to save and frame by racing bib with my number on it: 6263.
Here are some pictures taken by my sister!: